Two of Life's Lessons Learned

I have declared war on my body as of Christmas. It seems the fruitcakes and pies have done quite a lot of damage to me, and I have enlisted the help of Lifetime Fitness. I just have to plug Lifetime Fitness for anyone that has one near them, because they have a super fun happy slide for their pools – and there’s NO age limit! Well, there is, but those over 30 are allowed and that’s all that matters.

Since the Fruitcake bomb was dropped, I have gone there every night to run at least an hour, and burn 1,000 calories. It’s only been a week but I see a huge difference, mostly I can’t walk anymore. However, that’s another story as tonight I am going to tell everyone what lessons I learned tonight.

I go to the Gym after the kids are in bed, and often after my wife starts getting ready for bed. She went to sleep very early one night, as she can’t sleep and was up at 2 am that morning.

I get around 10:45, still sweaty and stinky because I was going to life some weights before taking a shower. I’m in the Bronco, which is great on a lovely December Texas night, which is around 75 F. It’s a bit chilly, but not enough that anyone really would say “Wow, this is Winter!” I park in the garage, and try to get into the house through the lovely door that grants me entry and exit from the insanity of my home.

It’s locked. Now a normal person would reach into their pocket and get their house key, and that’s exactly what I would do, if I was wearing my pants that were just right inside the house. I have a door key on my normal truck keys, but the Bronco has a simple little key, and no others as it can scratch up the dashboard! What’s really blowing my mind is my wife NEVER locks this door.

I check all the other doors, and I’m completely locked out. Life lesson #1 – I should have a spare outside. I could have easily bought one of those really cool hollow rocks, and thrown it into my front flower beds that are full of rocks and plants. “Shoulda Woulda Coulda” as my wife says. The wife. Speaking of her, I look in and I see the TV is on upstairs as the bedroom is flickering with lovely TV lights. I bet she was watching Family Guy, without me, which just upsets me so much!

I start ringing that doorbell. At first it was sorta fun, I was singing “My Doorbell” by the White Stripes, but after 15 minutes I only realized my thumbs were numb, the dogs were sick of barking, and by my estimates, family guy was over and the wife wasn’t waking up.

Damnit. I went to Plan B.

Back in the garage, I closed the garage door so not to disturb my lovely neighbors, and started honking that horn. The dogs were excited there was a new noise, and started the barking! I admit I don’t know much about antique cars and trucks, but I learned that night if you honk your horn for about 10 minutes or so, it will run out of air and make a very low deep “DOOOOOOOOOOOOP DOOOOOOOOOOOP” noise instead of it’s normal loud honk honk noise.

Damnit. I thought about Plan C.

I didn’t have a Plan C, however being the resourceful guy I am, I had the theme music from MacGyver as I hauled the ladder to the back yard. By now the dogs are so happy to see me, as they are sick and tired of barking. Also, it feels much colder now and I’m still in my sweaty gym clothes, and it’s getting pretty damn cold. I won’t even get colorful here and tell you how the unmentionables were now covered in ice cubes, oh wait, I just did.

I got the ladder and got up on the patio roof, and shimmied up to the bedroom window. This window is roughly right at my wife’s nightstand, so I am roughly 4 feet from her head. I can hear the TV faintly, and heard the lovely voices of that weird show after Family Guy with that talking meatball, fries, and coke cup. I swear that show would freak me out if I ever did drugs, getting the munchies and staring at a drink and fries, I would probably get in a fight with them to get in my belly and start crying that they don’t want to and I’m not really a mean guy.

So I start banging on that window. By now I’m on the verge of no longer caring about the sleeping neighbors and start whispyelling her name as I bang. It’s getting damn cold. My arm is a bit numb. I keep banging. After 10-15 minutes I’m pretty upset, and realize there is something really abnormal about my wife at this moment. This is no surprise, she had trouble sleeping, and I have surrendered to the fact that she took some sleeping pill(s).

Plan D.

I crawled over to my 4 year old son’s room. Or is he 5? I’m not really sure. I just now he lives in this house and eats our food, and often its our favorite foods to! Well, that makes me upset, and I needed that to do what I was going to do to him. I start banging on his window, and no longer care if my neighbors were enjoying what could be their very last night of sleep on this planet. I am yelling his name and banging, and he’s a pretty heavy sleeper. I can just see him through the blinds, as his nightlight is on.

Finally, he gets up, and comes to the window. I am telling him to open the window and look out… and he reaches out and pushes play on his radio, and now I can hear Mozart playing as he crawls back in bed. Yes. My son, who eats my food, and steals my legos and transformers from my childhood, just turned on his radio to drown out the sound of his freezing dad outside.

I had it. I start kicking the wall and banging on the window and screaming his name out. Finally, he fully wakes up, but in unison he started to cry as any frightened 4-5 year old does when they hear someone banging on their windows and walls. He finally calms down a bit and opens the window and I hear him say something.. I don’t know what, but I bet it can be loosely assumed as “WHAT THE HECK, DAD?”

I tell him to go downstairs and open the garage door, and he’s still crying and not understanding me. I keep trying to talk to him, but it’s not working well. So I say I will give him $20 to open the garage door – and wow – everything just came clear to him. I see him leave his room, and run down the roof, then the ladder, then with the dogs straight to the garage door, where he has opened it and let me in amid his tears.

I picked him up ever so gently, hugged him, told him how much I love him, and carried him back to bed, tucked him in, and he went back to sleep.

Now, to go find out what the hell was with that person that I normally would refer to as a “loving wife”.

I turned on the lights, slapped off the TV and yelled - "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU LOCK THE GODDAMN DOORS FOR?!". I was very cold, so it actually came out at first as “wha da fu did you wock da godam doors fo?” which after I yelled it I realized I made no sense. So I got closer to her, and yelled much more clearly to wake up.

Nothing. Yup, she took sleeping pills. Finally she opened one eye, and asked “huh?”

I ask why she locked the garage door, to which she replies “I didn’t lock any doorzzzzzzzz” and she went out cold again. Yup. That’s her defense. Well, the second lesson I learned is don’t try to have a real conversation with anyone doped up on sleeping pills, it won’t work.

What is really blowing my mind is she still swears to this day that she didn’t lock that garage door, and even suggested I did somehow – with the keys that were locked inside the house.

Next lesson, even if you are right- you are wrong. I already learned that lesson long ago, but the rest of you guys out there may not.

What Sort of Fighting Animal Are You?

This sure sounds like a test in the works, and you probably will look for those simple goofy questions that somehow - within 10 questions - narrows down your classification of what type of person you are and you go put that in your Signature on other forums and make friends, strangers, and lovers take it to.

Sorry, but there's no test here. So my wife and I (yes I'm married, so what if she's imported from Poland its all legal) were discussing how we argue. Now I'm not entirely sure what the argument was about, but I know she was quite involved with it, and I honestly lost all interest in the fight when I noticed she fights like a Frilled Lizard, and I often fight like the Dodo Bird.

So without going into what exactly the argument was about (like I said, I wasn't paying attention) I thought I would share what I think are the Angry Animal types in some relationships - I like to give the disclaimer that I'll probably forget a few animals, by all means take a few minutes out of your life (which you will never get back) and tell me of your thoughts.

The Frilled Lizard. Just to be fair, this is my wife...Not the acutal lizard, but like, the representation...well, You get it. She is a wonderful woman, who by the basic DNA structure of possessing a Polish Bloodline, is extremelly vocal and vivid. So when feeling agitated, threatened, cornered, arroused...or anything honestly other than state of unconcious, anyone in the area would think "oh shit!". To be fair, I say exactly that quite a lot.

Which leads me to the next Angry Animal type - the DoDo bird. It is imperative to note that the Dodo Bird is Extinct, so anyone that fits this group is doomed to fail. I'll admit, I am like the Dodo. When dealing with any problem, the Dodo just sits there all stupid like, oblivious to impending doom, and gets taken out fast. It's not very fun being the Dodo bird, but at least you realize you lost and save all that energy that you normally expend on running around uselessly trying to hide when you are going to die anyway.

One small step from the Dodo bird is the Ostrich. They see danger, and they stick their heads in the ground. Sure, you think at the time that is a swell idea, till you feel someone's shoe up your ass. What were you thinking just ducking your head down during the argument? You could have tried to deal with it head on - as you have mighty talons on your feet and a sharp beak, and long neck - but no... You just gave the enemy a big fat target, and a solid anchor so you won't go anywhere. At least the Dodo doesn't look stupid being stupid.

Then we come to the ... I don't know what he's called. The Drinking Bird? You probably don't know what he's called either, but you damn well know what he does right? Up and down goes his head. Up and Down. Up and Down. In any argument, this personality type doesn't give a darn, but will stand his or her ground and go "yes'm, Uh huh. Yup. Yes. Ok. yes. Uh Huh". You know the problem with this type? Oh there isn't one. He's so cool, just going up and down like that, hell you can slip in "And I'm going shopping and spending all your money if that's ok!" and all you get in return is "Ok. Yes. Sure. Uh huh". If you have a Drinking Bird S.O., take them for all they are worth. If you are the Drinking Bird Type, just go back to whatever you were doing. It's what you do best.

There is also the Lion. I won't provide you with a picture - If you have no clue what a Lion is then I can't help you. I shouldn't have to explain the lion either - but if I must, you end up just eating the other person to win your argument. You're a big bully, and that's all I'm going to say before you hurt me.

Ant Lions need a picture, as I doubt many of you even know what an Ant Lion is. Growing up, I used to toy with these guys all the time. They fight dirty and unfair. You don't even know you're going to be in a fight till it's too damn late, and they will always be setting traps to pick a fight. What Ant Lions do for those that don't watch PBS, is they dig cute little holes all over the place - and anything falling in will find themselves trapped in a cone of dangernous, and will become so tired of the struggle that the Ant Lion wins be default. Many guys are victims of the Ant Lion, and keep going for pretty holes. Pun intended folks.

There's probably alot more, but that's all I'm going to write about. You know of something else, let me know - and I'll add it to the list.

A Trip to Discount Tire

It's not often that I could go to a public place and find something out of the ordinary. Actually, no, I do often find something interesting in a public place, but often keep it to myself because I'm on an odd wavelength with the rest of the people. However, this one day I missed what could have been the greatest discovery if it wasn't for my friend Dave who was with me.

I had to swing by a Tire Shop here in town to pick up a tire I dropped off for my new truck ( I had a blowout before I hit 2,000 miles). As we were waiting for them to find out where my tire was, David ask me to look into the tire shop and tell me what he found wrong.
Well, after pointing out it was very clean, they had water misters to keep the employees cold, and all the safety equipement was properly displayed per OSHA laws, he asked again to look and tell him what was WRONG (He doesn't realize meeting OSHA standards makes the rest of us have to comply as well).
I gave up on that whole thinking thing and he told me there were no Mexicans in the Tire Shop. Now, to explain how this makes any sense beyond a simple racist remark, you have to understand in San Antonio Texas, we have a good number of Mexican, Hispanic, Latino etc people living in the city, which is understandable since Mexico is only several hours away. However, as stereotypical as it sounds, a tire shop without a Mexican/Hispanic/etc is just absurd in this city.
Anyway, in this tire shop were about 20 well groomed young guys, all white. None of them looked scrungy, as a matter of fact they looked a bit too preppy-frat-boy looking for a tire shop.
If you ask me, the whole tire shop is a cover. During the day, these guys change tires, but at night, I think it's a Gay Club! It's the only theory I have. When I told Sarsmi this, she asked if I was going to go back, to whick I replied no way, as I am too "tired". "Wheel" get a"round" to going back there if I need another tire, but I better not drop the tire iron.
Ok, enough puns. Anyhow, I found it weird. No, not the fact there were no Mexicans in the tire shop, but that David actually put some thought into that and noticed it. Often you can knock him in the head and 5-10 minutes later he says "Ow"

When I first Experienced the Pain of Being Lonely

The other day, on the radio folks were talking about how it sucks to be lonely. Someone said that duh - anyone knows how it feels. However, not many could remember the first time they felt true loneliness.
So I started to think back, far as I could, in the deep bowels of my dirty old brain - when did I first realize "Being Lonely Sucks."
I can honestly say I have traced it back to when I used to hang out at the Rollerskate Rink when I was a pre-teen. Now, you folks around my age are no doubt thinking back and wondering how the hell I can remember those days, and kids these days are asking "what the hell is a rink?" (Maybe, I don't know, do they still call them this?) Anyhow, the reason I can remember it is I have learned how to meditate and go deep into my brain box and go back in time for such things. That, and well, it's hard to forget those days you spent crying with other boys in the bathroom how lonely you were.
So back in time we go, to the 80s. Rollerskating wasn't as big anymore as it was in the 70's, but it was still big, at least for kids. Birthday Parties always seemed to find their way into Rollerskate Rinks. Lazy summer days, parents could drop kids off there for hours. Well, I used to love it, however I would always break out in a sweat once an hour on the hour, due to Couples Skate Time.
Couples Skate Time was a span of 10 minutes every hour or so, where all the loners had to leave the area while those with skate partners could go at it alone out there. Funny, how the "couples" got to be "alone". Well, at that tender age I would normally go to the concession stands for a pickle or slice of pizza and extra syrupy coca cola.
However, I do remember one day I had no money, I just sat there watching them skate...and how bad I wanted to be out there. I would turn and look at the line of the Concessioners and realize what sort of people I have been associated with. I tried to flee to the bathroom to spend time away, but it seems all the other lonely boys would go there to, actually, they went minutes before we were ordered off the Rink, and would stay there till the love songs were over.
So there I sat, sitting on the rail trying to keep my feet 'in', otherwise they would walk over and tell me to move. They never would do it over the speaker, oh no - that would ruin the moment for the couples. I did often try to scope out the girls at that time, to see who had the least amount of cooties and take out there, but it was never worth the risk of the pickle munching pizza scarfing geeks that weren't even my friends to ridicule me. That's right, ridcule. To often cover up our emptiness, we would make fun of the couples. Deep down though, we envied that one guy that had a different girl every hour, with the perfect hair, and filly shirt, and who could above all - skate backwards the rest of the 50 mintues and would do it ONLY BECAUSE HE COULD.
Yup, that's the first time I can remember feeling so empty and lonely. Oh I could go on and on about what else I learned at the Rollerskate rink (Like why you shouldn't eat the pickles) but I think I got enough out today.
If you like you can always hit up my forums.

Why Can't People Be More Like Dogs?

The more people I meet, the more I envy dogs. Many folks "insult" dogs, saying they are simple minded stupid creatures. They often do nothing but eat, sleep, and poop; well, that's all the necessities of life, so what's so wrong with that?
So why do I envy them? Because they only focus on the necessities of life.


While at the farm yesterday, Jasmine started playing hard with Max, and Max wasn't too happy about it. So when the boat came out, Jasmine hopped in while Max decided to stay on shore. Normal behavior of people, aint it? One pisses another off, and one doesn't want to be around the other anymore.
However not more than 5 minutes out on the water, Jasmine and Max started whining. They realized they missed each other, and were ready to get back together as seen in the picture above (Click on it if you can't see Max)
People are often much 'smarter'than dogs. They get in a little scuffle with someone else, and that's it - no more socializing with them. They can't help but dwell on what went wrong, and are inable to let it go and just make up and get on with life. We hold grudges for long periods of time, not thinking that life is too short to be pissed off at anyone for things that will not make a difference to anyone years from now when the sun goes supernova and fries our planet to a molten fleshy meshy crisp.
So while I sit here still ticked at quite a few people in my head, my dogs are enjoying life playing with one another, licking their own crotch, and rolling around in cow crap at the farm -- I guess that's the downside to being ignorant...however only us 'smart' ones see a problem with that.
To the forums, where I publicly admit I wish I could sniff my crotch

Bitch Buddies

Webster defines a therapist as "one specializing in therapy; especially : a person trained in methods of treatment and rehabilitation other than the use of drugs or surgery", and therapy as "treatment especially of bodily, mental, or behavioral disorder"
What Webster fails to tell you is Therapy is what unhappy people need to get happy - and that Therapy cost money. So, when someone tells you "Money can't buy happiness", you know they are full of bull snot. Furthermor, thanks to the miracle of modern science, health experts have determined we all need some sort of therapy.
Well, since I know everyone doesn't go to a therapist, maybe that's why everyone's in such a foul mood. However, as you have guessed it (or not, depending if you're even trying to create cognative thought while reading this and determine where it's leading to) I have a solution - Bitch Buddies.
Everyone needs at least one. If you don't know what it is, just by the words "Bitch Buddy" then I can't help you - you better save up some money and go seek that professional help to find happiness. Anyway, a Bitch Buddy is a buddy you can bitch to - not a buddy you bitch about.
Here's how I see it : Buddies are normally free, unless you're a real an introvert, or real asshole. For a fraction of the cost, you and your buddy meet up somewhere and just bitch about everything bugging you. The other buddy doesn't even need to give advice - they just nod their head, say "I hear that, Word, The hell you say, damn the man, screw her!". Then, they swap, and the bitcher gets to listen in and say the same while the other one continues a bitching. See, easy enough - any person can be a bitch buddy.
Now, there are some things I learned over the years with past bitch buddies.
First, never make your lover a bitch buddy. Because, well duh - maybe you need to bitch about THEM. If you are dumb enough to make your lover your bitch buddy then bitch about them to them...well, you're in for more trouble than you realize.
Second, when bitching at a bar, don't order the expensive stuff. Your tab very well can go over the amount therapy would have cost. Not only would you have saved money at the therapist, but you could have deducted it from your taxes.
Third, do not bitch where someone you are bitching about can show up. Sometimes you can get so swept up into bitching that the world around you grows dark and becomes a void, where you don't realize you're talking anymore - the bitch lobe of your brain has opened up in full bloom and shows its bounty to the world, oblivious to who is around to hear it. Very bad, as your face will have 0 resistance shielding from fist of vengance or frying pans of fwapage.
Forth, be damn sure to be as good as a bitch buddy as a bitcher. Otherwise, someone will be bitching about you later, and that's not freaking right. So, if you got problems - and you know you do thanks to the the miracle of modern medicine, find yourself a bitch buddy right away and try it out. Get back to me and tell me how it worked out for you.

The Demons Within, and the constant fight for Exorcism

I wrote another deep thought article, scary - I know. However again, to preserve the Crazy Joe persona I enjoy, I won't subject you to it - you'll have to just click the link below!

How could that mother strike her kid repeatedly?
The Husband snap and hit his wife
Someone take the family pet out and 'lose' it, claim the gate was left open.

Sure, we know some people are just asses, but then you hear how they swear they feel regret, remorse, and they can't explain how, why, they did it and they can't find the gut to even apologize.

Everyone one of us deals with demons, some of us less than others. Some of us can actually handle some of them, while others just let the demon take over. Worse yet, is when you grow up within a family and you can't even differiant the demons from 'normal'.

People that grow up in that type of enviroment have two paths when they 'grow up'. Accept that behavior as normal, or realize it's not and swear on their grave they won't ever be like that. That's if they are lucky. Sometimes they never realize something was wrong with it, and live life blind. You know what I'm talking about. Drugs are not a problem. There's no such thing as being an alchoholic. Might makes right....the examples go on.

Which brings me to the point, how many of us are the ones that woke up and realized that something was wrong, and are in a never ending constant battle to be unlike your parents. And worse, when you realize the one thing going totally against you is that it's in your blood to be like them.

You unconcsiouly accept boozing it up is OK, and constantly fight "Its ok to drink" but you keep yourself away from it to the point that its never more than a dozen drinks a year - hell, even nondrinkers would sip the wine at church! People even think you are being foolish, as nobody that is an alchoholic that drinks so little, and yet you claim you don't want the drink to even avoid becoming one.

Or maybe you are so against drugs but you drink, that you even won't tolerate giving time to those that just smoked a joint or two - when some experts claim heavy booze drinking is worse than pot. Why, only because a loved one abused drugs, and you don't want to deal with anyone related to that.

Your family history line is known for being short lived. Obese men that died young. And here you are, a statisic in America and overweight. You obsese about keeping yourself thin, and nobody understands you when you say its NOTHING to do with how people see you, its how you see yourself.

You don't want to have kids, because your came from a really screwed up family and don't think you would want to subject your kids to it. I know quite a few in this category, which an outsider could simply say that you know whats bad, DONT DO IT. but then, you are fighting the only things you learned growing up, and the fact that maybe that crap is in your DNA. These people don't even want to RISK the scenario of beating their own kids, or worse - molesting them. That experience to them was so damn bad, they never want to even risk it.

That's the worse, when folks start to think you're just nuts because you go overboard to try and reject what you could become. And all of these, of course if you told them the REASONS you are obsessive like this, they would no longer think you are nuts, but just really realy afraid of what kind of demons would pop out of you. However, almost all the cases here are those that are ones you would hate to talk about.

So few folks would feel comfortable to admit that Ol Mom and Dad were drug addicted alchoholics that beat your brother or molested you. AND WITH GOOD REASON! That's some heavy stuff to tell anyone. It's simple just to tell folks you're nuts, or just stubborn, maybe even ignore it. Well maybe so many of the people you know you would never label them with harsh feelings ever again, if you simply knew why they act they way they do - they are harboring demons.

Love, Lust, Appreciation, and Delusion

It's highly rare that I write anything really serious. However, it happens. Just to protect the integrity of the "Crazy Joe" image I have cultivated over time, you'll have to click it on the bottom to read it.

Bear with me, as I am a person of few wisdoms, and like to be 'crazy' to ignore dealing with real issues.

In life, one person...normal person..seeks out someone to be with. Normally, its one other person, and eventually get married. Now you can argue and throw out all sorts of things to go different than this, but for the sake of discussion and explanation of my thoughts, lets go with that a Person seeks out another to get married and life their life with.

Got it? Good.

So, what do you look for in a person. You can ask anyone this, and there's a short list. Truth is, lets say that everyone has a subconcoius list of things they are looking for in another person. You are only aware of say a few hundred at best.

Things you like in a spouse can be as trival as taste in foods, hair color, feel of skin, how they walk, their voice...as seroius as religion, ambitions in life, and their looks. Either way, I assume for the sake of this article, that there are 1,000 things that a person looks for in another person - subconsiously and with awareness.

Now, with each criteria of the 1000, you have a certain level of acceptance. You love that about them, you tolerate that about them, you dislike it - or you are totally 100% indifferent, for which you could easily be totally unaware of it being a criteria.

You can't find someone with all 1,000. It's not possibe. Now, I have two 'flags' to describe how a person fills in the criteria. Haves, and Have Nots. Haves means they 'have' a favorable or neutral criteria checked on your list. Have nots, of course, do not meet your criteria. You seek a person that has more Haves than Have nots of course, and with a good blend of these two that you are comfortable with spending enough time with them, to join in marriage.

so, you get married. You think it's Love, could be Lust, who knows. Any way it goes, this is your life.

Now, as we know, marriage isn't forever. Sooner or later, people fall out of love. Fall out of Lust. Bottom line is, they are no longer feeling comfortable with the amount of Haves and the Have Nots.

Did the Have or Have nots changed? No. Not most likely. Maybe a few, but in my theory, the person realizes they need more "haves" in the equation, than the have nots.

Or maybe the point is what I'm really trying to get at.

Someone say met a person, and they have theoretically 85% of Haves checked off. It matters not for this discussion what the other person has, because I'm gonig to focus on a spouse, that loses interest in his significant other, and wants to cheat on them.

See, lets keep the sexes out of this, but I know I'll slip and throw out a he or she because its assume men cheat more than women. So Person A has 85% Have ratio with their spouse. However, there is one checkbox in the Have Not that he wishes was a Have. Lets say, "they like to party". Now, when they got married they accepted this have not at face value, as a small percentage. However over time, they relized their spouse doens't want to go out, just sit at home.
It bugs them.
It swells up.
That small percantage is Stretch out, stretched like putty, so that it starts to cover the visualailty of the Haves. The "have Not" doen't get bigger, but it blinds out the Haves, keep that in mind.
So here's the spouse, he starts to make a big fuss about something that never bothered him before...or maybe, he keeps it to himself. All the while, it gets bigger, and even though he still have 85% Haves, he startes to NOT SEE them.

maybe another have not comes up. "I wish they were blonde". So now, we have two Have Nots, bugging the person, and even though he still approves of those Haves at 85%, the have nots have stretched over them, blinded him, and he or she starts to lose ground of what they found they loved.

So, sooner down the road, they go looking. Searching. For what? to Quench the thirst of those stretched out Have Nots to be satisfied.

It's like craving a food on a diet, a food you can't have. You just want a TASTE of it, a taste to shave down the have not. Have Nots are a craving, even when its another person.

So the spouse struggling with being 'blinded' finds someone who has some have nots. Sadly, they may have more "have nots" than "Haves", or maybe their spouse still has more "haves" than they do. Point is moot, all they are looking for is something to cover the stretched out Have Nots.

So there it comes eventually.

They meet someone with that which they want, to satisfy that need for the Have Nots.

This is the moment of truth - do they step back and realize "is this have not really THIS big, or did I make it such a big deal"? and step back, and suddenly shrink it down and go back to home, where they had a good deal. Do they take a taste of it, just enough to shrink down the have nots, enough to control the rapid growth that was killing them.

or the worst scenario, do they ignore the fact they have more Haves at home, which they worked so hard and so long to get, and throw it all in the air to juggle, just to fully quench and take on another person that who's sole purpose is to fill the Have Nots, regardless of any overlapping or non overlapping haves that the spouse and new person have.

It's perfectly OK to accept that everyone here cant have 100%. Nobody met someone with 100%. What I'm getting at is, how far do you stetch your have nots, and could you control them when it comes down to it?