Things I'm Thankful For

1.) Family Guy is coming back next year.
2.) DVR on my Dish Network System.
3.) Big Black Steeltoe boots that keep me from hurting myself when I walk into things.
4.) Testosterone that makes me want to screw anything just like when I was 19.
5.) Locking my age in at 29 last year so I can turn 29 again next month.
6.) Pornagraphy.
7.) Midgets to make me laugh.
8.) My friend David that taught me the funnyness of Midgets that relates to #7.
9.) My daughter the tomboy who goes fishing with me.
10.) My wife who likes fast cars, sci fi, video games, and spicy food.
11.) To live in a country where you can find fine swiss chocolates in a crappy run down gas station.
12.) To live in a city where we have Queso.
13.) To have a big ass TV where the people across the street can watch with us.
14.) Women that go Wild.
15.) Darwin Awards that make me believe Natural Selection is still at work.
16.) Dolts that go on a crusade and wage war against me on the internet in their spare time.
17.) Steak.
18.) My son who likes to spend hour with me in the Home Depot Tool Department.
19.) The Internet

There's more, but I'm thankful I have something better to do now.