3/01/01 - Crazy Joe vs Leviticus

I am back from a 1 week hiatus, my computer was broken.
 I get back and once again I'm hitting the wrong key for screenshots, so I'll fill you in:

At least I got this morsel before the action starts....

Leviticus is selling bolts of black cloth at the Feluca bank, mind you he is wearing nice red leather armor, and I took a peek and saw a supremely accurate sword of might in his pack. I act interested in buying said bolts of cloth, only to lure him away from the bank far enough, and I swipe the sword and go hide in the bushes behind the guard tower. 

I return and in the confusion, he is blaming a nearby mage for the theft, oblivious to the fact I stole it. 

The victim is the one with the black cape. He tells me that he was robbed! 

He tells me the mage-thief stole a sword, but not like the one I got, so I tell him
what was actually stolen. He is puzzled how I know so much, so I tell him how...


I try to make good on my kleptomaniac disease by selling back 
his sword instead of going to Trammel to sell it to the swine. 

He seems to have little interest in my offer...

I see we both have a program for these type
of situations, I am humored at his wit, and 
decide to offer him a discount. 

"Don't use your fingers in a pissing contest"

Leviticus is quite upset at me and doesn't wish to buy back 
his sword. However he seems to be a man of honor, so I 
make him a deal - if he can kill me, he can have his sword 
back for free. 

He considers it, and goes to the bank after
I inform him I have 30 magery and no true fighting skills. 

Leviticus seems to be interested in my offer, and suits up in fine
grandmaster armor, shield, and sword.I stand on my horse with a jester suit and kilt. 
No Armor, No weapons.  He feels at ease attacking an unarmed man!

There is no honor in attacking a unarmed man Leviticus!
I shall level the playing field and relieve you of your Sword. 

I also wield no shield, and further balance this battle by taking the shield. 
Now we are equal warriors! 

He pulls out magic wands from his bank, and
begins casting spells on me! However wands are very 
weak, and do very little damage. 

I rush him with his very own weapon and shield, and 
he wisely falls back, however I understand that
now I am the one unbalanced, and decide I to must fight
with magic wands. 

So I take his, seeing how I have none. 

We attack each other with wands
for about 2-3 minutes. However, it seems
this is getting us nowhere fast. 

Since he can't seem to kill me, I offer once again for him to purchase his items. 
He decides to question my man-hood, and insults my ego. 
 A fellow guildmate, Glove, hands me his GM katana, which is deadly poisoned. 
He sees it fit to attack an unarmed man, then I shall do the same!

Leviticus falls quickly, I almost feel sorry 
for his loss, for it was uncalled for. 

Upon returning to the land of the living, he lectures me on my lack
of honor in using a deadly Poisoned weapon. He sees no shame
in attacking me before then unarmed, quite odd. 

One last time, I offer to sell back his sword, 
and this time his armor as well. He claims 5k is
all he has, and I decide if it's true I shall return it
all for free..... (I'm not kidding....if he truly has only 
around 5,000 gold I shall return all his belongings for free)

It seems Leviticus has more money that he 
claims, therefore I decide not to give his belongings back
for free, and request payment. Next time Leviticus, speak the 
truth and maybe it shall be it's own reward. 

Leviticus feels moral anguish after the night's events. 
If he pays me, then it gives me the impression I can continue my
life of crime and profit from it. If he doesn't  pay me, then maybe
I will learn that my lifestyle is unfit, morally wrong, and I should consider
other lifestyles....

I forgot all my guilt as a check is shown to me, and 
once again I sink further in my life of sin. 

Quite Frankly, I am not that good of a thief, you sir were
 naive to the ways of Feluca - remember tonight's events,
and what you could have done to prevent your own demise. Next time we meet, I
hope you will be a more formidable victim.

Parting words -- he tries to reassure himself
that buying his things was morally acceptable.

It wasn't, for I was reassured I can continue to profit in my life of crime.