Episode 2: "CrazyJoe in 3D - Third Dawn Beta Take 1" by Crazy Joe
So anyway, I load up and instead of touring the 'new lands' on the test shard I load up my thief to take him on a quick tour of the lands in the new fancy shmancy graphical wonder land.
I hung here for about 30 seconds. I was scared to death. I thought
my tower fell and here I was stuck in a new view and couldn't run to the bank
in time to get a new tower deed. I was literally screaming on the inside.
Then I noticed I was naked - and realized the game was still loading.
I look like something from Atari 2600.
Ok, not that bad - maybe ColecoVision.
"Kal Ort Por"
Off to Moonglow
I know this is Beta. I will accept that some things
just aren't finished yet. Hopefully OSI plans to reach Zeta
before releasing this. I am totally turned off by this.
Folks in factions stop fighting to actaully talk to me hearing I am
Playing Third Dawn. Once guy wanted me to send him the Beta Files,
one wanted to know where to sign up for it, (and he spamed 'where do I download?'.
I did them all a favor and didn't give them any files or URL's. Then the fighting continued.
The walking animation needs work.
We really do walk bo-legged, it's like
someone shoved a horses foot up my arse. Honest.
I like this guy's guild title.
Just in case there wasn't enough Lag, your paperdoll
will gladly animate your actions just in case
you can't comprehend it - then slows your computer down so
you can really soak it all in and all it's glory. I actually
noticed better system performance with the paperdoll closed.
SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY! WHAT IS THAT?
I have no fighting skills, no armor, no magery, I can't seem
to outrun this horrid beast, plus it's shrill scream sends shivers
down my spine. Oh what foul manner of beast is this!!?
I run to the moongate...Feluca actually looks better somehow.
Another huge scary mongbat picks a fight with me.
what I failed to notice in our first encounter is that the
wrestle animation is about 20 times faster than the
running animation. It replays so darn fast I swear I was
in a sissy slap fight with the creature, and nowhere near
wrestling it. The best way to explain it, is imagine a normal
UO client wrestle animation with 600 dex.
Welcome to Trammel.
I know what a Willow tree looks like, I sell
them for crying out loud. That makes a better Mesquite
tree, which actually do grow around Austin TX. (OSI HQ)
This is a NPC Guard.
He wears Diapers.
It's called a 'fetish'.
if you don't get it, thou art too young.
Her paperdoll looks more attractive than most I have seen.
Lag is getting worse the closer the bank I get.
It's getting even worse.
Dirk finds me walking around aimlessly and asked about the
Brass Contest (I won Dirk). However I quickly lose him.
Look at that bulge in his loin cloth -- I think I excited him.
NO! I crashed with an excited Dirk nearby!!
I try to log on frantically to recall out, but alas I can not.
I feel violated by OSI and possibly Dirk now, I must go shower.
I'm NOT knocking Third dawn, no matter how much this post
seems negative -
this is Beta after all. They are concentrating more on game play than graphics --I hope.
It was interesting, and IF (capital I and F) this is pulled off it would be extending the
life of Ultima Online. But judging by past OSI performance for pulling things off smoothly....
well....let's not go there