"Why can't I just Die?" by Crazy Joe

The night before house placement I ran around marking runes to valid locations. After 2 hours of running and only marking 4 spots, I hit Britian and decide to rid my myself of my 10X Perma Gray status. I decide to be a sport and announce my Status, hoping an old victim would serve justice...or just anyone. Announcing your Perma Gray usually means squat in town, as I learned tonight.  

Sad but true, some Thieves have no idea. I'll check up on "a four year old" in a week and see if he figures it out. Come to find out, nobody else tonight knew about Perma Gray; I ran around for 5 minutes and NOBODY wants to kill me! Time for Plan "P"

I Polymorph into a chicken. 

 
Nia  (one on horse with a spellbook) is actually a good friend of mine that is tagging along for the show. She is a mage, and doesn't know OSI nerfed Offensive spells in town last night, so any magic attacks on me is worthless! 

Nobody wants to kill a chicken, time for another animal. MIner there is a fellow
Deceit Looter. Looks like he is having a rough night. 

 
 
 
MIner waste NO time trying to kill me. He doesn't know magic was nerfed either. 



  
Nobody has the heart to kill a poor Polar Bear, better motivate the Crowd.

Nobody wants to kill a Demon Either. 

I get distracted from killing myself - somebody actually
wants to visit the LBSC Guest Cottage?!?!?!
I have no reason to lie and say I'm gating to Vesper!
This is too good to pass up - so I step in. 

 
Sigh, he doesn't read Stratics. He will after tonight I hope. 

Nia helps me out - Some damn Thief tries to snoop me and get my rune. I died 4 times making this rune, the nerve of Thieves!

Somebody wants me to Polymorph again (Slipknot, the guy with the Spear)

 
I  missed the snapshot of the gate, but they have
made their journey, and its time for me to check up on them. I tell Slipknot to stick
around while I go see if I have to loot anyone. 

Just my damn luck. I had no bloodmoss, and had to run to the bank and get some. I recall to this spot, whereas I usually drop down and block the doors. However, they already made it out and ran to the back, and one recalled out. I decided to go back and Polymorph for Slipknot.

I give him a chance to take me down now.

1 Hit (BTW, I failed to disarm him!
You can disarm while polymorphed!)

 I'm feeling lucky. 2nd swing missed. 

Oh no, luck ran out.

It was about damn time!  I was down in 3 hits.