The Compassion Platter

I love food. Some say that men have a one track mind, and that's sex. For me, it's simply not true. I have one train of thought that travels two tracks - food being the later. So, with that in mine - most of my analogies in life I try to explain with terms of food, since most people don't like sexual analogies. Not only that, many with one track minds can't figure out what the heck I'm saying when they are distracted with sexual analogies.

Anyway, I want to go into what I have that call the Compassion Platter #5, number five only because it has a nice ring to it. What's it you say? I say everyone walks around with one. Some have this teeny little salad dish, and they only have so much compassion for so few people. These people are the ones that really don't care about you or your problems, since their salad dish is so small, the only thing there is themselves.

Then you got the folks walking around with this huge buffet style trough, the kind you need two or three wax burners underneath just to keep the food warm. They are open to everyone, take shoulders to cry on, and turn out to be great friends and even psychologist of some sort.

Then you got people that want to be one, but force themselves to do the other. That's me. I have told folks for ages that I'm an introvert. However once folks get to know me, they can't believe it and think I'm full of it. Truth is, I'm walking around with this freaking Plate that is already full of my own compassion for myself, then my wife, my kids, my family, and a few friends. Know what happens when I try to shove more on there? The Plate starts to tip and things fall out. And when things fall out I get pretty downright unpleasent. I don't think I need to go on with the analogy, it should easily display itself when you think of buttery mashed potatoes, rice pudding - I myself become a royal mess.

So, to prevent that mess, I created a false image of myself...sorta like forcing a diet on myself. I took in what I could handle, and have tried my best to keep others from getting on my plate. I lied, said I was an introvert. Told folks I'm an ass. Been Rude on purpose on occasion. Hell, even purposly ignored others. Why? Because often...sad as it sounds, I found pleasure in getting to know someone who then put some problems on my plate, and that one little thing upset the entire plate of mine, and I drop pieces everywhere.

Someone has cancer I find out for example.

I care a little less that my wife is feeling stressed.

I care a little less my kids can't find their crayons.

I don't care I'm slacking at work. All because I'm worried how the one person is doing.

It sounds horrible, but it's the God's Truth that I'm not the only one that feels this way. Most people easily walk around and just ignore other people. Pretend to care then just forget everything said. Not me. I geniounly honestly bottom of my heart care for many people I meet. I often don't let them know, and I often avoid them when I see they are having problems and need some compassion from someone else.

Does it make me a bad person? Probably.

Am I the only one that avoids getting to know anyone for these reasons? Small Possiblity.

Should I be ashamed I hide it? I don't think so - better than being the person you know who pretends to care, who has no intention in caring.

The harshest thing I ever heard someone say long ago was, if you are climbing a ladder and someone below you needs help, forget them. Climb to the top. Then when you're up there, throw down a rope and you can easily drag them up. Otherwise, they may just make you fall off the ladder as well. I think just about everyone in the crowd gave a soft boo and hiss to him. I wonder at times if I'm the only one that truely understands his advice.