Sappnin' again Foude Yakuba. WORD! Indeed it took me some time t'scribble ya', as ya' well know De System be everywhere. ah' have t'be careful fum where ah' scribble ya', as I'm bein' watched ah' dink. Ya' know? ah' dought deep on dis acshun, real deep. Jes hang loose, brud. ah' took de night smokin' down t'reach some state uh self enlightinment so's dat ah' could fully digest yo' problem and deliva' best results. As ah' said in mah' last email, mah' last dojigger be Dover, fust dojigger Ben. 'S coo', bro. "Massa' "Joe" be nodin' mo'e dan an Email Delivery Client ah' use, so's when ya' address replies such as dat, de clunker digs mighty confused, mos' as much as me.
Ah' am 32 Years old, live here in Houston Texas, where life be baaaad, if ya' is part uh de System, uh which ah' ain't! Right on! ah' have no mama, no kids, plum two dogs - which ah' love mo'e dan ah' could love any oda' soul. Oda' dan fightin' contant opression fo' mah' sucka's fum De Man, some serious case uh Gout, and losin' sight in mah' left ear, I'm hangin' quite well.
Now dat ah' told ya' about mah'self, ah' hope ya' kin tell me about ya'. Like, how old is you, whut is yo' hobbies, do ya' toke, and whut is yo' doughts on de fact dat Califo'nia gots yet t'legalize da damn sweet leaf even if fo' medical purposes? Whut's yo' favo'ite food and such, in case we eva' meet ah' wanna be sho' man t'snatch ya' out fo' some night on de town dat ya' gots'ta neva' fo'get. Man!
Danks and may de gods watch upside ya' and yo' soul - and may ya' be blessed wid many virgins in de afterlife. Until den - smoke if ya' gots dem. WORD!
Ben
Unjived Reply :
Hello again Foude Yakuba. Indeed it took me some time to write you, as you well know The System is everywhere. I have to be careful from where I write you, as I'm being watched I think. I thought deep on this action, very deep. I took the night smoking up to reach a state of self enlightinment so that I could fully digest your problem and deliver best results.
As I said in my last email, my last name is Dover, first name Ben. "Joe Harden" is nothing more than an Email Delivery Client I use, so when you address replies such as that, the computer gets mighty confused, almost as much as me. I am 32 Years old, live here in Houston Texas, where life is good, if you are part of the System, of which I am not! I have no wife, no kids, just two dogs - which I love more than I could love any other soul. Other than fighting contant opression for my people from The Man, a serious case of Gout, and losing sight in my left ear, I'm doing quite well.
Now that I told you about myself, I hope you can tell me about you. Like, how old are you, what are your hobbies, do you toke, and what are your thoughts on the fact that California has yet to legalize the sweet leaf even if for medical purposes? What's your favorite food and such, in case we ever meet I want to be sure to take you out for a night on the town that you will never forget.
Thanks and may the gods watch over you and your soul - and may you be blessed with many virgins in the afterlife. Until then - smoke if you got them.
Two days pass (no doubt trying to understand my reply).....
Dear BEN,
Thank you for your mail,I am happy thatyou have replied me.
please this money thatI want to send to your account is real and this
has course so many problems here with me.I will ready when you ask me
to send it to your account to do so for our favour this will be that
30% of this money will be yoursand the balance of 70%remains for me
untill my arrival in your domains,I am sure we are making a way out
into paradise,but if you feel that you want come to affrica in this
deal thats okey even or me,I will make everyarrengement to make sure
that this money comes to you.15000000m us dollars is the cash that take
me to serve in the prison and so many police nets even today I am not
still free.
Thank you
Waiting to hear from you.
Foude
To Page 4
Foude
I wuz so's wo'ried about ya', ah' dun didn't hear fum ya' in two days. ah' wuz afraid dat ya' gots been Opressed by De Man, o' if not him, den some sucka high down in De System. WORD! Oh Foude, ah' dun did not sleep well de past two days, neva' again gimme such some scare! Ya Dig?! Now, we gots'ta return t'business, as ya' is opressed, and I, Ben Dover, live t'fight da damn System, t'aide da damn little man, dat joker is ya' Foude, and ah' wish t'help. Jes hang loose, brud. To Assist. Man! To Deliver. Word! Ah be baaad... TO FREEDOM! Aye!
I gots'ta warn ya', likes ah' ain't warned ya' already, dat ya' gots'ta not trust da damn Banks - fo' dey, mah' broder, is part uh de system. WORD. You's say ya' gots all dis bre'd in some briefcase ? Keep it dere! It be safer, even if dieves and coinsnatchers and dirty hobos litta' yo' streets as ya' walk drough it, it would be in betta' hands wid ya' dan any sucka at any crooked financial institushun. I should know - ah' lost mah' life savin's uh 3 weeks wages at da damn bank upside on 5d and Commerce. Dey claim dey neva' heard uh a Mr Dover, Ben, II - and as ah' ain't uh deir kin, mah' wo'd wuz not snatchn seriously by De Man. 'S coo', bro. Since den, ah' have warned all mah' broders fum depositin' deir bre'd in dese so's called Monetary Safe Gotsns.
I's gots'ta be so'ry ah' can not mosey on down to Africa, fo' ah' ain't one dat favo's de heights uh which de planes travel, and, I'm embarrased t'say, gots some heald condishun dat duzn't allow me t'go down high in altitude, fo' mah' internal o'gans could fail. It's some rare condishun mah' homey, called Passive Interio-Gastro Comprimision. 'S coo', bro. ah' can't even travel t'de Mountains uh Colo'ado, o' scuba dive beyond 20 feet underbooze. Dey say its some rare hereditary disease, ah' dink it's plum anoda' way fo' de Man t'keep some broda' waaay down. You's know whut ah' mean?
Now if ya' wish, ah' can find some bredren uh mine t'jimmey up an account in one uh de smalla' banks in mah' city - dey is not monito'ed at all by de Man as often as de big ones.
Please advice me uh yo' plan uh acshun, Broda' Foude. Do ya' puh'haps wants' mah' numba' of de local payphone ah' can receive it at?
Ben
Unjived Reply :
I was so worried about you, I didn't hear from you in two days. I was afraid that you have been Opressed by The Man, or if not him, then someone high up in The System. Oh Foude, I did not sleep well the past two days, never again give me such a scare!
Now, we must return to business, as you are opressed, and I, Ben Dover, live to fight the System, to aide the little man, that man is you Foude, and I wish to help. To Assist. To Deliver. TO FREEDOM!
I must warn you, like I haven't warned you already, that you must not trust the Banks - for they, my brother, are part of the system. You say you have all this money in a briefcase ? Keep it there! It is safer, even if thieves and coinsnatchers and dirty hobos litter your streets as you walk through it, it would be in better hands with you than anyone at any crooked financial institution.
I should know - I lost my life savings of 3 weeks wages at the bank over on 5th and Commerce. They claim they never heard of a Mr Dover, Ben, II - and as I am not of their kin, my word was not taken seriously by The Man. Since then, I have warned all my brothers from depositing their money in these so called Monetary Safe Havens.
I am sorry I can not come to Africa, for I am not one that favors the heights of which the planes travel, and, I'm embarrased to say, have a health condition that doesn't allow me to go up high in altitude, for my internal organs could fail. It's a rare condition my friend, called Passive Interio-Gastro Comprimision. I can't even travel to the Mountains of Colorado, or scuba dive beyond 20 feet underwater. They say its a rare hereditary disease, I think it's just another way for the Man to keep a brother down. You know what I mean?
Now if you wish, I can find a brethren of mine to open up an account in one of the smaller banks in my city - they are not monitored at all by the Man as often as the big ones.Please advice me of your plan of action, Brother Foude. Would you like the number to the payphone here where I can receive your call?
Ben
DearBen,
Thank you so much on how far you have gone already.please make haste the bad guys still locate me in my hide out almost everyday that is why I want you to help me by being fast a kind of,please your accout number is nessecary because its international trasfer from one company to the other so please every documents should be legal as I will soon be a foreigner in your country,please remember that the 15000000us dollars is too much for me to loose it at the point of when I should be happy to develop it,so Ben what so ever you are doing in this respect pleasr be fast,I may not afford to go crasy by looseing this honey.and also remember your 30%and also being into partnership in the business that I will go into.
I am waitint to hear from you soon.
Foude
Howdy Foude!
Thar is no need t'thank me, let me thank yo'! Fry mah hide! Fo' it is yo' who has given me this hyar oppo'tunity t'strike a blow t'Th' Man, t'brin' up th' li'l man, fum th' bowels of wretched stench known as opresshun. ah w'd like t'grab yo' by th' sh'ders an' shove yo' into mah bosom of brotherly love, fo' Foude, yer truely a man amoung men, as enny fool kin plainly see.
Th' noomrs fum which yer buck o' two will be saved is 18 002255 288, it's easy, jest dial down th' middle mah friend, cuss it all t' tarnation. Th' varmint whom which yo' kin thank fo' this hyar is named Carrot Top, a man - who even eff'n he is part of th' System, is too foolish t'knowin'ly accepp he is bein' Opressed, cuss it all t' tarnation.
May th' spirits be wif yo'.
Ben Dover
UnJived Reply :
Hello Foude! There is no need to thank me, let me thank you! For it is you who has given me this opportunity to strike a blow to The Man, to bring up the little man, from the bowels of wretched stench known as opression. I would like to grab you by the shoulders and shove you into my bosom of brotherly love, for Foude, you are truely a man amoung men.
The numers from which your buck or two will be saved are 18 002255 288, it's easy, just dial down the middle my friend. The person whom which you can thank for this is named Carrot Top, a man - who even if he is part of the System, is too foolish to knowingly accept he is being Opressed.
May the spirits be with you.
Ben Dover
BrotherBen,
I will always thank you for your effort meanwhile,I am also greatful to have reach someone like you.
within the week I will link you with a person who will send the transfer to you,he is a brother also he has being assisting me all these while I have the problem,and he said that he will not leave me untill the whole thing is done successfully.he works in the bank and has agree to do it in his own way to make it easier.
I may not be able to call you for now because those guys of police are still watching over my movements and all that I do even telephone calls my conversations and so on,so with this,I am watching my way yet and will reach you when I feel its convinence to do so,lets keep on with mail for now.
So as I said earlier the personel will write you to indicate to you that he will be the person that will also help in this furtune.
Do you kn ow why I write much when on the mail?its because of those guys.so keep up the mind that you have started with.
I am greatful.
Sincerely yours,
Foude Yakuba
Brother Foude Yakuba
Duzn't ya' wo'ry none Foude, everyone be grateful t'Ben Dover. Ah be baaad... Why, on mah' street, ah' hear everyone say t'each oda' how great it be to gots been aquitined t'Ben Dova', and how dey wish t'get t'Ben Dova' even mo'e. It makes me shine, mah' soul, on de inside t'know ah' have touched sucka's such as dem - and ya'.
Lawds, God be Praised ya' gots some Broda' to help ya' out at da damn Bank, it sounds likes he be a Undercova' Broder, fightin' against De Man, likes sump'n out some Movie o' sump'n. ah' shall eagerly await his message, and kin't wait t'cut him de Pleasho' man, dat be knode, uh Ben Dover.
I be saddened ya' won't be contactin' me much longer, ah' have grown fond uh yo' messages, now dat arrive mo'e often den when we started. You's gots'ta be goin' drough hard times, cuz' de tears on de messages stain de letters, and make dem hard t'read. ah' can only tell ya' t'hold on, de Opression gots'ta soon yet be over, Fight da damn Powa' Broda' Foude. Fight da damn Power.
Ah be baaad...
Ben
The Unjived Vesion :
Brother Foude
Don't you worry none Foude, everyone is grateful to Ben Dover. Why, on my street, I hear everyone say to each other how great it is to have been aquitined to Ben Dover, and how they wish to get to Ben Dover even more. It makes me shine, my soul, on the inside to know I have touched people such as them - and you.
Lawds, God be Praised you got a Brother to help you out at the Bank, it sounds like he is a Undercover Brother, fighting against The Man, like something out a Movie or something. I shall eagerly await his message, and can't wait to give him the Pleasure, that is known, of Ben Dover.
I be saddened you won't be contacting me much longer, I have grown fond of your messages, now that arrive more often then when we started. You must be going through hard times, because the tears on the messages stain the letters, and make them hard to read. I can only tell you to hold on, the Opression will soon yet be over, Fight the Power Brother Foude. Fight the Power.
Ben
Dear Brother Ben,
Thank you for the mail you sent.all the content is understood,thank you also for the man you have provided to assist in this trasaction.
Tommorrow the Bank will write you as I told you today so kindly inform the man to expect the mail from the bank.as you said I am happy because the transaction will soon be over.that has giving me joy.I will also today try to call the man on phone as you have indicated in your letter,also tell him to expect phone call maybe this evening as time will permit.
I will be going to hideing place for now untill later in the day or morrow.
Have a nice time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sincerely yours
Foude yakuba
No reply was sent, after all, he has gone into hiding and I await a letter from the bank. I do get a kick out of his very first sentance. I find it hard to believe he really did understand everything.
Hello Ben,
I got your Email through my client ,he have being for a long time asking me to help him and transfer his money to over sea.which we have not come to a conclution but two(2) days ago he came to me and said that he have found his brother where the money will be sent to ,so if what he is saying is true please kindly forward your particulars to me.I am a banker and Mr. foude Yakuba depositted some large amount of money in our bank 15000000 us dollars since ferbuary 1998 now that he said that he has gotting his brother in oversea so we will be oblarge to do so .Please send your full address and Fax and the account n umber where the money will be transfer.I am working with the Central Bank of Guinea in Conakry.
I am waiting edgerly to hear from you.
God bless you ,
Fernando MendesFernando
Howdy! Fry mah hide! How is yo' this hyar fine day, other than fightin' th' Opresshun, th' Man, an' fo' mahse'f, th' Gout? Yessuh, Foude is a brother t'me, we is boun' by th' brotherhood thet binds us brotherly like as brethren t'fight th' not-so-brotherly - Th' Man, as enny fool kin plainly see. ah's told yo' knows of th' Man, an' how he opresses, an' despresses us. Yo' knows Fernan'o, Depresshun is merely th' emoshun of Anger wifout th' Enthusiasm, dawgone it. Thet dexcribes Foude t'me - a man, filled wif Anger, but not mighty Enthusiastic about it.
Ennyway, t'business! Mah sister, whom which Foude has heard about, "Ilean" wawks at th' local bank hyar. She's a fine sister, fights th' Man as fine, he'ped me secure a bank account.
Ben Dover
742 Evergreen Terrace
Springfield, USA
1-843-352-2786
Burn's Bank of Springfield Acct# 18 002255 288
God Bless yo' Fernan'o, an' Foude as fine, an' all th' li'l chilluns.Ben Dover
Unjived Version :
Fernando Mendes:Hello! How are you this fine day, other than fighting the Opression, the Man, and for myself, the Gout?Yes, Foude is a brother to me, we are bound by the brotherhood that binds us brotherly like as brethren to fight the not-so-brotherly - The Man. I am told you know of the Man, and how he opresses, and despresses us. You know Fernando, Depression is merely the emotion of Anger without the Enthusiasm. That describes Foude to me - a man, filled with Anger, but not very Enthusiastic about it.Anyway, to business! My sister, whom which Foude has heard about, "Ilean" works at the local bank here. She's a good sister, fights the Man as well, helped me secure a bank account.
Ben Dover
742 Evergreen Terrace
Springfield, USA
1-843-352-2786
Burn's Bank of Springfield Acct# 18 002255 288God Bless you Fernando, and Foude as well, and all the little childrens.
Ben
Mr. Ben Dover,The mail you sent on friday came to us and where understood,but we are working out way to make the transfer easier to avoid much protocol.
Meanwhile find attachment to this mail and do accordingly.we have finish the proceedure and are waiting for your responce in this vein.
Remember Foude Yakuba your Brother have spokeing much about you in this transfer so you have to be fast because we have remove the file from the existance and cannot go back to restore it again.
waiting to hear from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Fernando Mendes.
I was sick all weekend, and could not reply to him for a few days. Wouldn't you know it, Foude is impatient!
Dear brother ben,
I got your mail the other day.please I want know if you have send the address to the bank because I call the bank on friday and they said that they are working on the transfer proceedure,did you send the address?
please tell me because I count so much on you as a brother who is helping me.
I will come back to you later in the day.
reply is urgently needed.
Thanks and God bless you.
Foude
More to come!